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Founded by Jennifer Logan in 2016, Upward Performance is a leading magazine publisher that’s breaking boundaries on the world wide web. From news on entrepreneurship, leadership coaching, travel, art, and more, Upward Performance is the best source for all your interests. Check out some of the latest stories below.
WHY WE NEED INSPIRATION IN OUR LIVES
You can have results or excuses, Not both
In today’s world, people often consider that which can be measured is more important or more valuable. But without inspiration, there's nothing to measure because we produce nothing. Inspiration is what creates and all that is measured springs from this nebulous concept.
There are three parts to inspiration, according to psychologists Todd Thrash and Andrew Elliot.
1. Evocation. Inspiration is created spontaneously and without intent. The word inspiration means "divine breath." Inspiration is not a part of our baser, more primal brains; itserves no purpose for basic survival
2. Transcendence. This part comes in moments of clarity and with the awareness of new possibilities. Inspiration is indeed the mark of higher consciousness in us. Inspiration comes from a place of beauty and clarity.
3. Approach Motivation. It’s a fancy way of saying that the person with the inspiration seeks to communicate that vision. Either by talking about it, creating the vision in real life or letting others share in the vision.
People who are inspired have some common traits. For one thing, they are more open to new experiences. That almost always comes before the inspiration hits, indicating a certain willingness to be open to inspiration as a precedent to experiencing it.
It’s important to note that inspired people were neither more nor less conscientious than any others. Meaning that inspiration wasn’t something that they could command or “will” to happen.
The other thing inspired people have in common is a strong desire to master what they do. However, they are also not competitive. Remember that inspiration is transcendent, and competition is a survival instinct. That indicates that trying to beat out or one-up someone is not conducive to inspiration.
There are other critical factors in people who are often inspired.
1. A confidence in their abilities. Even though they may not be experts in everything, they are comfortable with their specialties.
2. Self-esteem. Inspired people have the confidence not to doubt themselves, indicating that they are able not to sabotage themselves.
3. Optimism. It’s difficult to be inspired if you’re stuck in a negative state. People with optimism are more open and more prone to inspiration.
Inspiration is not just a flash of vision; it’s a motivation that births creativity and motivation. People who get inspired are usually the ones more eager to jump into a project.
4 TIPS TO USING HUMOR TO RESOLVE CONFLICT IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP
“The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph.” – Thomas Paine
The conflict has been brewing all day. The combatants are at crisis point, and it feels like the entire office is holding their collective breath waiting to see what happens next. At this point,they’re ready for bloodshed, or at the very least, some very strong words.
The last thing they expect is for one of the key players in the conflict to open their mouth and… make a joke?
Maybe it doesn’t feel like a resolution to the conflict, but actually, laughter goes far beyond being the clichéd ‘best medicine.’ How? First of all, laughter takes the tension out of the situation, which exactly is what’s needed to regain perspective, build stronger bonds, and yes, sometimes smooth over the differences.
How then do you effectively use humor to resolve conflicts?
1. Make sure that both parties are ‘in on the joke.’ By keeping humor wholesome – not at the expense of the other person, you’re focusing on inviting them to laugh with you, rather than laughing at them. How can you tell if you’re doing it right? Humor is tricky, and so your best indicator of getting it right is to gauge the other person’s reactions. If they’re not laughing, chances are they don’t find it funny. Stop!
2. Check to make sure that you’re using humor as a defensive weapon rather than as a positive tool. If you’re using humor to mask emotions that you’d rather not deal with right now, then it’s time to put a flag on the play. Stop immediately and ask yourself what it is that you’re not dealing with and why.
3. Work on that sense of humor. Every good comedian knows how to read their audience. The same goes for using humor with another person, especially in a situation that’s already a conflict. Watch the nonverbal cues. What language are you using? Keep the tone positive and light, and mean it. That means don’t use jokes as a means of cruelty. Lastly, consider what you might use as an inside joke. Inside jokes not only keep the situation light but create a deeper intimacy with whom you conflict.
4. Most importantly, be Playful! A little bit of silly fun is a good thing. Not sure how to tap into that kind of fun and crazy side? Explore humor in other ways so that you always have a repertoire to fall back on. Watch things you find funny on TV or in movies. Listen to jokes. Read the funnies. Find that side of you that likes to play and encourage it with creativity and fun.
And no matter what, cut yourself some slack. It takes practice to be funny. Keep at it, and you’ll find your natural sense of humor, and be able to tap into it when you need to. That conflict won’t know what hit it!
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FUN WAYS FOR YOUR FAMILY TO SPEND TIME TOGETHER
It’s common for families to spend time together only during big events. In our fast-paced world, we spend all day at work during the week and the weekends are spent doing chores and running errands. We fall into our beds each night with a sigh, realizing another day went by when we didn’t spend time with our loved ones. One problem we have is we believe we need to create large, exciting events out of family time, when really, doing just about anything can be fun. Try these simple ways to spend fun time with your family.
Do chores together
There’s always something that needs to get done before the fun can begin, right? Well, why not have everyone pitch in and get the chores done faster. Cleaning, cooking and fixing things around the house can all be accomplished faster when everyone helps out. It also makes it more fun.
Read together
There are few things so relaxing as someone reading to you. Adults and children alike will love this nightly or weekly activity. Choose a book series appropriate for everyone and either take turns reading out loud or have a designated parent who enjoys reading aloud. Have everyone get in their pajamas an hour before bedtime and then spread out on a big bed and relax. You will build memories, show kids how much fun it is to read and fall fast asleep.
Plan a monthly adventure
There are usually loads of places locally that you and your family can enjoy spending time. Museums, parks, and the zoo are always good choices. And these things don’t have to be expensive. Take a picnic or tailgate instead of eating out. Find coupons and special offers online to the zoo or amusement parks.
Set one night per week aside
Do you remember those commercials that encouraged parents to have a game night each week? Yeah, it was probably trying to sell us board games, but still, it’s not a bad idea! Come together to find a night that works best for everyone and then make it a priority that no one can miss it. Sure, you can play board games, but you could also play video games or physical games. And virtual physical games played on a Wii are great fun and a sneaky way to get a little exercise in. Even if there’s a bit of resistance at first, you’ll find that once everyone gets used to the schedule, they really look forward to it.
RULES FOR FIGHTING FAIR FOR COUPLES
Regardless of how much we love each other and work at our romantic relationship, there are bound to be arguments. We are two very different people trying to live one life together, after all. When fights do occur, it shouldn’t be a free-for-all. Just like every other “game” in life, there are rules to fighting that everyone in love should abide by if they want to remain in a happy relationship.
Choose your timing carefully
As soon as your partner walks in the door from a long day at work is not the time to pounce on them to change their behavior. It can take real self-discipline to hold your tongue when you want to get something worked out right away, but waiting until everyone is in the right frame of mind to discuss a volatile situation is worth it. When we barge in without taking into consideration the mental state of the other person, we inevitably make the argument much larger than it needs to be.
Use “I” language
We’ve all heard this, but it bears repeating. The other person is immediately on the defensive when a sentence starts with “You do ___ and I don’t like it….” It’s just human nature because it feels like we are being attacked. But keep in mind that no one can make us feel anything - only we ourselves can do that. So, switch your “you’s” to “I’s.” Say something like, “I feel ___ when you do ___.” It’s not just semantics - to shows that you are in charge of your feelings. You are focusing on the feelings instead of the behavior you don’t like. This makes the other person feel safe enough to let down their guard and discuss the situation more rationally.
Focus on the now
It’s so easy to get all worked up and start pulling out grievances from months or years past. Most people tend to argue about the same type of issue over and over. For example, money and parenting issues are common, even in the most loving relationships. Take care to avoid bringing up the past. And, if one of these slips out, apologize and come back to the current issue.
Never say never
This connects with the tip above. When you start throwing around words like always and never, you know you are in dangerous territory. It’s usually an overstatement that simply escalates the fight and does not accomplish anything, including rectifying the situation.
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